There’s a consensus in our society that in order to have a fulfilling relationship, you are required to WORK at it. But how can a relationship be considered ‘good’ if you’re constantly feeling like it’s work?

There are two reasons you believe this ridiculously dissatisfying idea.

You want to know the most crucial ingredient for a healthy and fulfilling marriage? It’s the same ingredient for healthy relationships with your parents, your kids, and your friends. It’s a magical feeling called EMPATHY.

Someone close to you has betrayed you. And you are desperately trying to find it in your heart to forgive him. You want to keep the relationship together. Every time you think you have gotten to a place of forgiveness, the old feelings come back and you blame yourself for not being able to “get over it”.

Rage is like an orgasm—Once it starts, good luck trying to stop it. The only way to deal with rage is to stop it BEFORE it starts.

You are rage-prone because you are the kind of person who gets personally injured when you feel misunderstood or invalidated. Your anger turns to rage because you are desperate and weak. You freak-out because you feel like control is being taken away from you and the only way to get it back, is to come out swinging.

Women are crazy jealous.  They will think you are cheating even when you aren’t.

She constantly questions your integrity—She checks up on you when you’re out with friends. She gives you a hard time when you haven’t replied to her texts in the last 20 minutes. If you even look at another female, she freaks out.

So–Why are women so possessive, and smothering?

Recently, a dear patient of mine wrote me a heartfelt letter that she had framed for my office. With her permission, I am posting it here.I am hoping she will be an inspiration to anyone who has ever wondered, “What’s the point of all of this talk-therapy?”.

You are an expert at suffering. On a quest to play The Victim, you do everything for everyone. Then you make them all jump thru hoops to prove to you that you deserve to be compensated.

There’s way too much emphasis in this society on being the best. You’re taught that if you don’t strive to be the best at everything you do, then there’s just no point in doing it at all. But if everyone can’t be the best, what are we saying about people who are just good-enough?

You find yourself in love with your best friend’s wife. You realize you hate your college major. You no longer feel attracted to your partner. This is very inconvenient isn’t it? Don’t you wish you could just stop feeling that way?

Women are having too much non-sex. That’s the kind of sex that you think is sex but really isn’t sex. You are subjecting yourself to non-sex because nobody ever told you the definition of having sex to begin with.

So…Here it is: The true definition of sex is ANY activity you engage in that you’ve intended for YOUR sexual arousal. Hmmm…So let’s take a little quiz, shall we?