Congratulations are in order. Today is my one-year anniversary. Exactly one-year ago today was the last time I menstruated. At the age of 44 I am officially in post-menopause.
It really should not come as a huge surprise to me that my plumbing is shot this early on. The two failed IVFs and about half-a-dozen useless IUIs were evidence that I wasn’t the most fertile woman on the planet. As luck would have it, our precious daughter came along with the help of a really cheap bottle of Spanish wine and the purchase of a two-seat convertible.
“One-and-done” we’re fond of saying. We don’t need more children. Our family is perfect the way it is.
Then why am I so sad today? It’s one thing to decide not to have a second child and another to have the possibility taken away forever.
You never know how hard feelings of loss will hit you even when you are expecting an event to happen. Post-menopause means the loss of more children. It means the loss of youth.
We all experience feelings of loss over things that are just part of the life-cycle. High-school graduation, moving out, getting married, and even having a baby all bring up sadness about losing the life we had before. It is natural to be sorrowful even when the events are positive ones.
Post-menopause is the start of a new chapter in a woman’s life that means getting off the hormonal rollercoaster. It means a new kind of freedom.
But today will just be a day of mourning for me…And tomorrow another door will open.